HEART OF TERROR

I didn't think I'd be writing this kind of post today. Half asleep and still dozy I was alerted out of my sleepy stupor by a sudden groan of my husband. What. WHAT? I asked urgently. My PTSD brain immediately poised for panic. "It's Manchester. A terror attack............. FFS" he said. "Fuck" I said. THUD. … Continue reading HEART OF TERROR

THAT WOMAN IS ME

Daughter 1 bounces on the trampoline outside. Daughter 2 has her head buried in her latest fairy book upstairs. A man prepares a family meal in the kitchen, and a woman sits alone at her laptop, door closed, wondering what will possibly happen when she taps into her mind and starts to write. That woman is me. … Continue reading THAT WOMAN IS ME

POST-TRAVEL HUM

I hear the hum of the aircraft, still ringing in my ears, The roar of the car barely hides the rumble of my fears. Back home now to safety. Duvet pulled up, I'm smothered, My silent melancholy, proved not so thoroughly covered.   Couldn't hide my sad today; my worried or my mad, Travelling an … Continue reading POST-TRAVEL HUM

KITWEILER

Excuse the unusual title. I consider myself, personality wise, part super-soft kitten and part Rottweiler. Ergo I must be a kitweiler.  The personality is something I spend a lot of time mulling over as a construct. Sitting through lectures on psychology and individual differences at uni cemented my interest in this. I am even more … Continue reading KITWEILER

MELANCHOLIC

Melancholic morning, stay inside your bed, The world hurts- sink your head in a pillow instead. Lavender scented Francais-themed sad, Wrote a post last night that confirmed my bad. Bad girl missing ma famille,  Longing for them, plain as can be. Heavy plenty floaty plenty,  Torn out heart bleeds out till it is dry and … Continue reading MELANCHOLIC

HOMESICK

I am grateful to have this holiday. I am also simultaneously missing home and the people I have back at home quite a lot. Holidays fulfil my wanderlust desires. But they also make me appreciate what I have the other 51 weeks of the year, and I pine for them like a child who can't … Continue reading HOMESICK

SEPIA FILTER

I sat earlier with my eldest daughter, just glad to be with her, and my husband thoughtfully captured the moment on camera.  It was a sepia moment, too special for standard colour reproduction. What we talked about wasn't groundbreaking or worthy of being discussed in a public blog post, but it was nice because we … Continue reading SEPIA FILTER

MY BAD

Morning coffee crumpled duvet View in front just like a movie Rustic beams farmhouse walls Sunken valley swallows call  Clothes laid over whicker chair Mirror leaning vacant stare Nothingness here on holiday  Nothing much to do or say "Enjoy this empty" husband says Won't be long till airport day Relish simple relish France  Do a … Continue reading MY BAD