Plunged into a world of blue...dry ice...spotlights...a guy I know so well led me through... Through the dry ice to the other side...a place to scream and plunge down and slide Thought maybe it was high time I died It will get better they say Was that truth? or had they lied?... You told me … Continue reading PLUNGE INTO THE BLUE
One plus one.This is our story. When he and she became we. You and me-eyes locked together in a smoky pub. I looked to the floor. I was shy. You were confident. I thought you were too good for me. You wanted me. You stared at me. You got drunk. I got drunker. You followed … Continue reading HE + SHE = WE
Why do the birds sing, today of all days? Don't they know of my malaise? Cars roll past-people go about their day Of last night, I dunno know what to say I'm here, I'm here. I still fucking here Slides on black ice like Bambi the frightened deer Bambi on drugs, but only the ones doled out … Continue reading WHY DO THE BIRDS SING? TW
This was going to be titled hypomanic reflections, as I'm hypomanic and wanted to do a spot of clever thinking, but then I realised I'm hypomanic so can't think as everything is so FAST so instead of reflection it's more GLARE in capital letters. Typing super fast (I am) can you tell. Life as I … Continue reading HYPO GLARE
Pour it out, every drop... your life is like a photograph that's been badly and messily cropped You feel pain so deep inside Stomach crunching fear that can't be denied Words hurt but I promise I mean no harm I just love you, I'm a sucker for your unique charm No explanation given, the pain of … Continue reading POUR poem
Do you remember the song "sorry seems to be the hardest word"? Well, I have the opposite problem. And in this post I will try and refrain from apologising for my problem, because that is the problem I am trying to address. Over-apologising. I apologise too much. I'm British, so I have a inherited propensity … Continue reading SORRY ISN’T HARD
Hey guys...I promise no more vlogs today-thanks to those of you who watched my earlier one on how to respond to people with mental health conditions. The content of this vlog contains one of the most important messages I want to get out there in the public domain, so I have shared it here. It is … Continue reading WHAT ABUSE/TRAUMA SURVIVORS NEED
THIS IS A GUEST POST, WROTE ESPECIALLY FOR SUMMER STARTS TO SHINE BY A LUSH FRIEND OF MINE. Her name is Liza and she writes exceptionally beautifully. I asked her to write a little piece that encapsulated the SUMMER STARTS TO SHINE philosophy, as she knows me well, and what kind of person I am, … Continue reading SHINE MY FRIEND
I ruffled a few feathers I think with my earlier post. I expressed myself strong, and laid my emotionality out in full HD. What happens when you shine light through a prism? It splits into a rainbow of colours like so... This is the standard image of refraction [or whatever the process is-I was … Continue reading PERSONALITY PRISM
My safety just left the house. It was actually my husband. But I call him my safety when I am feeling like this...emotionally unsafe, precarious, transparent, and purposefully floaty to dull the internal sense of panic. Click went the door as he left for work and the beginning of two days away from me. He works … Continue reading THE FORGOTTEN TOY
I walked first in sun...but by the end of the walk, the grey clouds had amassed and blown in as though heading purposefully to me and brought with them sheets of horizontal rain. I am snug, warm and dry now back inside the house, except I am not. I am not the dry lady in the … Continue reading MEMORY LANE
Hello, I'm back! Toasted muffins, strong coffee, and a cuddle with my hubby revived me. So...on with the post. Prepare to be educated about trauma and the brain part deux.... I am sat with a diagram that scares me. As I mentioned in my previouspost, the content comes from Carolyn @ pods which my CPN gave me from … Continue reading TRAUMA/BRAIN ED. pt 2.
This post is EDUCATIONAL so I hope you will learn something, and that if you are someone trying to get to grips with past trauma you have gone through, that it will also help normalise what is going on with you on a brain level. I was motivated to read this to help a friend … Continue reading TRAUMA/BRAIN ED.-Pt 1.
Sleepy writing...Internally fighting slumped shoulders and aching muscles, many dramatic tussles going on inside my addled over-used mind...you know what they say, 'seek and you shall find'...I was born this way, one of a kind... my childhood stars unhelpfully aligned which kind of put me in a bind, message to the gossips out there- "your own … Continue reading CONFUSION FUSION
This is a genius idea I had this morning. I am planning my summerstartstoshine anti-depressant series of posts, all about beating the black dog, as this is a crappy time of year for many of us when mood begins to lower in preparation for the chills of winter (if you live in the northern hemisphere … Continue reading #F2F DEPRESSION