Plunged into a world of blue…dry ice…spotlights…a guy I know so well led me through…

SONY DSC

Through the dry ice to the other side…a place to scream and plunge down and slide

Thought maybe it was high time I died

It will get better they say

Was that truth? or had they lied?…

You told me it’d improve,  well improve it did…

Crisis averted, Summer shut the trauma box lid

SLAM goes the lid of the box with all of that crap

Only sound you’ll hear is the survivor’s slap

PTSD doesn’t have to rule my life

I’m a mum, a friend & a suicide attempt surviving wife

I’m proud of me, in all kinds of ways

It’ll take more than fucked up brain chemicals to lead this bitch astray

Call yourself a bitch. Why you say this? Summer, you’re nice!

Friendly and warm, wired to appeal and entice

tumblr_o36lcboyiv1tis2rqo1_500

Many sides, many colours, a rainbow of dirty, splashed in petrol infused puddles

Oil and water, they meet in me

Infusion of ‘something’-sweet as can be

Sour sometimes, fiery always

Temperament changeable, crying in nightclub doorways

tumblr_o8m7syxgqg1u4fifko3_500

Assault. attack. depression- impulse control truthfully slack

This girl got the knack

Are you brave enough? Brave enough to allow yourself to get closer?

Raised by a mum with undiagnosed anorexia nervosa

48a864fbacde85670254378ea7e7bd07

Don’t eat. Don’t sleep. No Power. Learned the world full of creeps

The creeps can’t get near you though now, so don’t panic or fret

This bitch is gonna seize her life back-victory I’ll most definitely get

Anger issues, ran out of tissues, emotion wrung out completely, what are today’s big issues?

Yeah “I got issues”, don’t pretend anything else

Self recrimination is bad for mental health

So I pledge to love myself, and to amass kind people’s affection to boost that emotional wealth

Footsteps silent, determined and stealth

She’s crept up behind you, tapped you on the shoulder

Abusers, remember me? Blood runs suddenly colder

What do they see when they look at me?

A smiling grown woman who feels entitled to ‘be’

Shame no more. I like who I am

I pity you, you’re the ones bleating like newborn lambs

You’re going to die soon y’know, you’re getting quite old

I’ll enjoy BLOWING your cash when your pricey surburban house gets emptied and sold

That’s the first time I’ll ever enjoy BLOWING YOU

When you’re dead I’ll stand over your grave and in the most dignified way say…

“YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME. SO DADDY, FUCK YOU”

tumblr_nm5z6mp6nr1uosm2eo1_500img_1313-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements