‘I SEE SNAKES WHERE YOU SEE TWIGS’ TRAUMA VLOG

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26 thoughts on “‘I SEE SNAKES WHERE YOU SEE TWIGS’ TRAUMA VLOG

  1. Tenacity T says:

    I’m sorry that you are feeling down my friend. I love how you speak. Tha way your words ring true in others minds too including mine. The only thing positive I can say from all the negative is we have a choice and that is to not let it fester because it’s so hurtful that we become hardened and bitter people! You obviously chose to be better than all of that! Luv u~MOOOAHπŸ’‹

    Liked by 1 person

    • summerstartstoshine says:

      Thank you. Usually I’m not hardened and bitter, but today I am because of being triggered yesterday at the conference. I’m just processing it all. Vlogging has drained me today, but I feel it was worthwhile. I’m glad my words ring true. I bloody love you T. I hope you know that πŸ˜˜πŸ˜—πŸ™ŒπŸ’–πŸ‘

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      • Tenacity T says:

        I know you’re not. Processing it all is a good thing. It shows you have an open mind. Sometimes we have to let it out it’s no good to hold feelings of any kind in for very long anyways! Emotions are very draining but it must be done in order to come to our own understands about whatever is ailing us inside. I bloody love you back my friend. I’m here for youπŸ˜˜βŒβ­•οΈβŒβ­•οΈβ€οΈοΈπŸ’‹

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        • summerstartstoshine says:

          Aw T. Loving you loads right now. I needed this today. I’m so low and I feel completely alone and in my bubble of pain. Hopefully I’ll emerge from this tomorrow. It’s just been an intense 48 hours for many reasons πŸ˜–πŸ˜’ Love you xxx ps did you read my whatthefuckever post? It was inspired by you and I mention you. If you’ve already read and commented I’m sorry, I’m dissociated so my memory is poor. Cuddles 😘😘😘

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  2. Alexis Rose says:

    I wish I could take both of us, hand-n-hand, go back in time to the lush woods thats full of twigs, soft green grass, never to see or feel a snake. It doesnt mean its denial, just a wish! πŸ’•πŸ‘­β€οΈ

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    • summerstartstoshine says:

      I wish that too darlin xxx I’m really suffering with my past today 😒😒😒 I feel angry and tearful 😒 I wish I could have stopped your life from happening as it was then. You’re a special person who deserved nothing but gentleness and love. It’s just fucking sad. Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. emergingfromthedarknight says:

    Thanks so much for this I just wrote a post on my own anxiety and used the world hypervigiliance anxiety to say how I wake up each morning. This explains exactly why. No place to rest. Having to be on guard against the assaults. Such a sad way to live and it leaves such a lasting legacy. It really affects our entire body and brain. Big hug darling this is wonderful ❀ ❀ ❀

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  4. Barney says:

    Summer, thanks for sharing this, you go ahead and have that goodcry, wel not now, don’t wake up for me, haha, Inshoild say I hope you did and rode that wave all the way out. I see myself in that analogy a little, now it is the fear that things will never be alright, and the belief I don’t deserve anything better, I obviously deserved what happened. Thishas been a down day for me I totally vegged out. I have been thinking a lot about what you and everyone said and deciding what my next will be and frankly it is scary. But sooner rather than later! Hope you feel much better in the morning, Hugs, πŸ€—πŸ˜™ Barn

    Liked by 1 person

    • summerstartstoshine says:

      I’m quite glad I took a risk in what I said, as other people agreed lol (I was expecting to be unfriended!) It is scary hun 😦 You have been through such a lot lately. No wonder you’re emotionally strung out 😩😒 I didn’t cry much but maybe I will today. I think I still have more tear potential. I’m gonna meditate in my bed shed a lot today and try and calm my head and find some direction. Hugs Barney πŸ˜”

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      • Barney says:

        No way, unfriend you! I need honesty in my life. Seeing as I have three lady friends telling me to be brutally honest, I think I can take that to the bank, I just need to find the optimal time, if that even exists. Thank you for being so open and honest I really needed to hear that. Now sweet girl, go back to sleep!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. dbest1ishere says:

    WOW! Okay this made me cry because I totally totally understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. It was totally unfair that we had to grow up the way that we did and we do have every right to feel whatever we want to feel about it all. I normally am stuck between anger and sadness and that sucks. There are certainly times that I feel jealous of others who had that “normal” childhood that I wished I would have had. Hell, to have a “normal” life now. I get down on myself when I feel that way though because I know it’s not their fault that they had or have what I wish I did. But hell, sometimes I get jealous of my therapists for that reason….its a hell of a circle to live in. Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • summerstartstoshine says:

      Thank you so much…I appreciate your empathy, and I wish people like you and I didn’t have to face this 😦 It is unfair, an sometimes I can’t be philosophical about it. It absolutely sucks 😦 We are really strong to deal with everything that goes on in our brains as a result of our traumatic beginnings in life. I wish I was “normal” myself. It is part of the grieving process that survivors like you and I have to go through as we come to terms with what happened. I’m really glad this resonates with you, though I’ obviously upset to have caused your tears X

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