The black dog bites, I find it’s jaws clamped around my knee,
I try to shake and kick and shout, but it just stares right back at me.
You think I’m budging? The black dog snarls- it’s teeth tight and gritted,
It’s been a long time since I felt this bad, the mental health blogger admitted.
I try and inspire & I try to “move on”,
But sometimes it just gets me and I’m forced to tag along.
Sick of this, sick of me,
Sick of my past, sick of how that childhood crap affects me.
But I plough on and hang in there as I have no bloody choice,
At least I’m a survivor who’s found her virtual voice.
I sing my song out-my message is loud and clear,
Mental health is a long term thing, rarely just a week, month or year.
I’ve had these problems for such a long LONG time,
Recovery sometimes is a brutal uphill climb.
But I’m not giving up. I never fucking will,
I’m in for my life; not in for the kill.
Poetry helps, and drinking lots of cups of tea,
I’m a British tea-loving blogger, I do this for free, no fee.
I try and do good things for people every single day,
Be a good kind person-that’s how I force the blues away.
But I’m sorry….I just can’t do that today :(
On my mental illness bed in silence I lay.
I’m in my cave & I’m locked in here with the black dog in the dark,
Desperate for that enlivening recovery type of spark.
I know it’s there & I know I’ll find the light again,
I look at the black dogs glinting eyes, and say two words ….”but WHEN”?
I need to change the tape don’t I…because the black dog loop has taken over in my mind :(
This is what I need to switch my listening to….
it is just bloody hard to do it, but I will never stop trying :)
Maybe a touch of the sound of music will help :)…..
“When the [black] dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad….I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don’t feeeeel so bad”