SLICE-A-PIZZA ME

I went to Italy once. Italians know how to make a good pizza…also icecream, but that’s not the point of this post.

So, what makes a good pizza? Quality ingredients? Combined together in the capable hands of a skilled artisan pizza chef? Yeah, probably.

Well, I’m part Italian…so maybe that means I have a head start πŸ˜‰ I also have fairly good genes.I know that’s quite a strange thing to boast about but it’s true πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I say good genes as I have intelligence, good physical health and am also fairly hot (apparently). So the ingredients which make up the pizza of me are half decent all things considered.

I’ve totes nailed the quality ingredients part. nods confidently

I’m also part Spanish which probably partly accounts for my Mediterranean (interesting) temperament.

Now, the artisan chef bit….my mum did her best but she was limited by her own mental health and the fact she married an arsehole. So that took her mind of the chef skill part…so she never became an artisan pizza chefΒ …and my dad is a cunt. Nuff said.

But despite the shit chefs I was allocated at birth I think I make a pretty good human metaphorical pizza 😊

I’m tasty πŸ˜‚ I’m attractive πŸ˜‚ I smell gorgeous πŸ˜‚…and I’ll emotionally fill you up with my friendly, approachable, empathic, caring, bright and shiny personality.

Flashes white teeth which sparkle brightly as much as her blog name suggests

Consequently when people online find me, they think “I want a slice of that Summery pizza”.

So because I’m generous I give you a slice.Β By giving you a slice, I mean…I give you my time and my attention and I emotionally invest in you. I feel your energy and respond to it. I empathically pick up on stuff for you that you can’t quite deal with yet. I see things in you that you haven’t realised about yourself, and I use my intuition to know when is the time to strike to let you in on what I think might help you.

Thats quite a lot of investment every time I have an interaction.Β 

If you’re my friend, my entire being is orientated towards improving your mood, making you feel better, making suggestions I hope will help you move forward, making you laugh at times to lighten the atmosphere when it gets heavy, communI caring honestly and openly with you, and just being an all round good pizza basically.

Good pizzas smell enticing and taste good…so people naturally don’t wanna stop at one slice. Hell no.

You’ve tasted yummy pizza….so you want a bit more…course you do.

Next time you feel a bit shitty you’ll remember the emotional boosting pizza you had at the summerSHINES blog or by email or Facebook or messenger or twitter or wherever the hell else you find me.

So you reach for a slice.

I’m a nice person and I care…so I gladly give you a slice and another and another.

When this blog was new I had time to share big slices of me, but as my friend list has mushroomed the slices per person have had to get smaller.

While you’re enjoying chomping on your slice, there are sometimes many others simultaneously dining on the pizza of me.

I don’t say no. Because I’m a people person. And I’m used to serving the emotional needs of others above my own. My mum taught me how to do that….cheers mum for that vital life skill…said with a skowl.

So I end up looking a lot like this…

And then this….

And then this….

And that is pretty much where I’m at now….
I’m an empty circle where there used to be a pizza.Β No topping. No base. No sauce. I’m just a few half chewed crusts.

And somehow I have to rebuild myself into a fully formed and topped whole pizza again.

Like how???

I don’t like living as a bundle of crusts. It feels crap.

I want to be a whole pizza again.

The only way I can become whole again is to have time alone where I don’t offer to let anyone emotionally eat me.

I also need to give less slices out for free and be a lot choosier for my own mental health.

This post isn’t intended to be arsey to my friends….as I don’t want to give anyone up. You all fuckin matter to me… that’s why I keep giving to you…and most of you invest back in return and if you eat a slice of me, you share a slice of you too…so fairs fair. Reciprocal pizza eating loveliness.

I don’t know what to do to make life easier and less knackering. I’m disabling the comments on this post purely because I don’t have the time or concentration ability to reply.

I have a full life. I’m a Mum. My blog is becoming something I love to write in, but I lack that easily available time which is frustrating.

My time management is completely rubbish and I need to prioritise and focus and sort my head out. That means no blog chatting for the foreseeable future. I never expected blogging to be such a time thief. I never expected following and commenting on other people’s blogs and replying to blog comments to be so time consuming.

I need to get me back.

I’ve become lost.

I need to become my own artisan pizza chef…and remould and recraft the pizza of me.

And that is what I will do.

And I cannot give out as many slices to you….I’m sorry. I have to change how I do things and this has been building for a while.

I guess I began blogging because I love to write…I didn’t envisage it to be mainly about chatting to people across the globe, typically offering my listening, empathy and advice.Β 

This pizza can’t be eaten at the same rate anymore. Otherwise there’ll be nothing left of me 😦

SummerSHINES Β XΒ 

 

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