TODAY I’LL STRIP

The title isn’t what you think ;) …In the summerSHINES blog I would say my blogging is usually executed in the the polar opposite style to ‘stripped back’.

It is intense-it’s vibrant-it’s expressive….word heavy-visually popping too. But I am not always ‘that’ person. Sometimes, like today, I find myself in a little mood slump, and I’m not feeling especially shiny…but shining is about trying to shift moods when they hit and gear up to a higher level of mood cruising. Which is why I have switched on my laptop to write :)

Our blogs reflect who we are-[unless we are deliberately trying to cultivate a particular image-in which case I don’t follow those blogs]. I need to authentically connect with a blogger somehow-some people I don’t get the instant fizz with; the fizz that spontaneously erupts when we find ‘our kind of human’. 

I don’t know quite how it is that our brain resisters another writer as “attractive”. But to what extent do we all show our WHOLE personalities when we blog? Is it even possible?
Some bloggers have a narrow range of style. That isn’t meant as a criticism-just a fact that some blogs do what they say on the tin, and there is never anything much that deviates from that. That is fantastic in cases where everything is really well written in a style you love…you start to develop an attachment to the writer in those cases, which is really special as a reader. 

Some blogs, by contrast, are vastly different from one post to the next, so you can sometimes begin to wonder who exactly this person is, when they have so many different sides or facets to them? Or maybe you will find yourself preferring one aspect to the others.
I am not going to say which category out of the two that I fall in-it’s not my place to judge, and how can I really be objective about assessing what I publish?

I would say though in general terms that lately I am endeavouring for positive posting, which is expressive and expansive and BIG. That is because I’ve felt expressive, expansive and BIG.

My world indeed has got bigger.

More people have joined the summerSHINES blog wagon…I am also networking and friend making on social media, plus creating connections with local and national Mind (the mental health charity) via volunteering. I really genuinely like to meet new people, and my world has been so exciting and full of elations lately. I am so grateful for that.

I was praised a lot yesterday for my post written and released into the blogopshere to my family. My post was praised for it’s eloquence, bravery and inspirational message. I LOVE it when I get that kind of response. Somebody said it made them cry.

Whilst I am not cruel enough to want to induce bouts of crying in people who read my blog, I am always pleased that a piece has created emotion, as I have done my job then as a writer.

The bizarre thing about my evolving journey as a writer, is that I am still ALWAYS surprised when anyone reports an emotional reaction when reading my posts…the reason being, I live my life in the emotional fast lane-full speed ahead. The emotional state I was in when I wrote the piece is more often than not a very different emotional state to the one I’m in when I read any comments or feedback.

My moods shift a lot, and fast. I don’t just have 5 emotional gears like you’d have in a manual gear box of a car. I have about 20! Maybe one day I will sit and actually count them ;)…

Newsflash I did a sharpie doodle…there are less than 20 as I ran out of room on the page doh

I know that I feel so much about things, and my diagnosed PD confirms that I am unusual in my emotional intensity, yet often what I write is actually a very muted account of things, relative to how I feel as the person feeling the stuff that motivates the post in the first place! Other times, by contrast, I am dissociated-my emotions detach from source and I go into an altered reality which is very calm and unfeeling. So I can write a post, say harsh angry words or emotional statements, all the while feeling very little inside, except a detached floaty numbness.
I wrote a post recently for a publication (which I will share on this blog when it’s published). I put a lot of emotion into it and detail, [as I’m always a thorough stream-of-consciousness type of writer], then had to heavily edit it to fit the space. I was concerned the personality and emotion had been lost, as so much had not made the cut. However someone else who was objective and reading it for the first time thought it was very emotional and full of personality. How on earth would readers have coped with the emotion of the full piece I wonder?!

The point I’m trying to make, is I have no idea how emotional I am as a writer, until people report back to me how it made them feel. I am literally ALWAYS surprised by feedback.

I am so intimately involved in my writing, that sometimes I wonder where I end and the writing begins.

Is there even a dividing line?

I cannot strip myself out of the writing, because of the style in how I write…I write totally from my heart…dare I say…from my soul?…and that is backed up by intellect, and I hope a curiosity about the world around me- which means my mind is able to stimulate yours when you read what I produce.

I don’t see myself as a blogger, [even though I am one obvs]-I see myself as a writer and blogger, who started off as a blogger and has grown to become a writer.

I think you can be both a blogger and a writer, but the two are different things.

Anyone can blog-but not everyone can write.

Anyone can blog for their own benefit-but that doesn’t always make your blogging interesting to the reader. Harsh, but true. That is because bloggers don’t always consider their reader that much, and importantly implement skilful changes in their writing in order to include the reader and draw them into their world.

Writers need to draw the reader into their world, whereas bloggers who are only bloggers and not writers, ‘do their thing’, and often do it really well :) but little is written with the reader intimately in mind.

When I type, I open myself up. Writing frees me. It’s as though once the laptop switch goes on that I unzip myself psychologically.

This is my time to let it all hang out.

When I doodle, this liberation is even more apparent- as I never screw up a piece of paper and start it again, yet I do delete words and reorder and shuffle and manipulate them quite a bit.

When I write any given sentence, the picture that springs to mind in my head is that I am the wedding photographer, juggling the huddle of significant people around so their heights and shapes and relative importance to the bride and groom are fitting and appropriate and aesthetically appealing. It has to work as a family group. The words are the family, I am the photographer. Wedding photographers are always in charge, and it doesn’t matter if the guests happen to be tipsy [and they usually are] the photographer always gets the photos she/he wants on the day, and the tipsy guests (the ‘words’, following this metaphor) just have to behave themselves.

Writers are wedding photographers-fully in control. Bloggers who are not writers more resemble the tipsy guests at the wedding.

This whole post may appear arrogant and elitist and offensive. That is what my inner critic is telling me, whoa-hold on there summerSHINES. Watch how you’re coming across Miss smartie pants. But writers [rather than bloggers who are not writers], are also usually very skilful in their accuracy of judgement of what aspects of your piece should be written with your audience in mind, and which aspects should be thrown to the wind, felt, experienced, so expressed and written down and published anyway.

Writers do BOTH. Writers part give a shit, and part don’t give a flying fuck about their audience.

That is my writing process, my response to feedback from readers, and my thoughts on writing and blogging-stripped.

Feel free to strip yourself back in the comments section…are you a writer and blogger?… or a blogger only? What do you think differentiates bloggers and writers? Is there even a differentiation between them? How do you mine your emotions in order to write riveting posts? And how do you feel when you hear that someone has reacted emotionally to something you’ve read?…please strip X

SummerSHINES ©

*Note-I feel a lot better now since starting this post. Proof that writing and other creative activities do help us shimmer again when we’re feeling a little lack lustre.

Also earlier I revamped my workspace to make me more creative and inspired…it worked! The sharpie scribbles in this post were the first done when sat at my sharpie scribble blog station (in other words…”a desk with cool stuff on it” I can’t decide what I love more…stationary, or life itself 😂

Here are some sneak peaks of where I work 😍


 

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21 thoughts on “TODAY I’LL STRIP

  1. I believe I am a writer and a blogger, but I have yet to discover how to find a balance of that in my blog. It grows with me as I try to figure out who I really am as a person and what I really want to do with my life.

    I love your desk, btw. It’s so colorful and looks like a place where a lot of creativity is born! <3

  2. Hmm well, fwiw I don’t think you’re faking confidence, it seems more like writing/blogging brings out the confident part in you, which maybe doesn’t happen as often in real life. That’s just my view of it and I’m not a professional therapist or anything ahah, so please take it with a grain of salt. ;) Hugs to you <3

  3. There should be some kind of neurodiversive (my new word I’ve learnt from a friend) commune somewhere.
    We can all marry each other and never need to explain things.
    (I’m ignoring all the obvious downsides of this)

  4. Aw thanks hun x I am super down today so I appreciate your reassurance. I’m glad it feels authentic because it is…like in my post I just published i admit I fake confidence sometimes to overconpensate for feeling inferior…or maybe it is not that I fake confidence when I am confident, more like my identity is so fragmented that I have confident and unconfident bits that are unaware of each others existence. Today I am unconfident and feeling completely inadequate. I wonder what will happen tomorrow lol! I’ll be sure to blog about it whatever happens! Thanks a lot hun for still continuing to read my blog 💛

  5. Well, like a few others may have mentioned here, your emotions definitely come through in your writing, Summer. It always feels genuine and authentic, like you’re not bs-ing anyone, and I’ve always liked that about you.

    Also, there’s nothing arrogant, elitist or offensive about this post, so maybe that’ll help in curbing your inner critic. ;)

    Lastly, that “wedding photographers” allegory was absolutely brilliant. Very well put.

  6. Lol 😂 We must defo get married! Though you’ll have to form an orderly queue 😉 I’m absolutely flattered by what you’ve said hun :) When I write/blog it just feels “right”…like this is how I am meant to communicate. I want to blog this morning but the kids have both laptops as it’s half term so I am trying patiently to wait for them to finish! And doing a sharpie doodle while I wait. People blog for all sorts of reasons…not all bloggers aspire to be published writers…and that’s totally ok. If it helps the person blogging then that’s all that really counts. :)

  7. This is such a great post and know exactly how you feel. So often I read a post and think I know exactly how you feel.
    I don’t know you, doubt I ever will, but you tick that “wanna be friends and skip gaily round a parkrun” box from reading your posts and blogs.
    I wish I could blog as good as you. Or even a fraction as reliably as you. I’m not a writer, when I rarely blog it’s for me and a brain fart more than anything; if someone else ‘enjoys’ it, that’s lucky. That being said I can be coaxed into writing if needed.
    I’m rambling now… but love how you blog, lets get married?

  8. Aww, thanks lovely! I’m sorry you’re going through a low time. I know you’ll lift yourself up. That’s what you do. 😘😉

  9. You’re a great writer as well as blogger and I would buy your book 😘😘😘 I’m having a mini low spell but will try and lift myself up out of it again today 💛

  10. I agree with She-Ra. You DO have a clear, honest and strong voice. As for whether I’m a blogger or a writer, I’d like to say both… Writing is my favourite… But my inner critic tells me I’m useless at writing (have started writing my book a little while ago). So right now I don’t know where I stand on the spectrum, lol! I’m glad you felt better after writing this lovely. <3

  11. Yay! This is an amazingly rewarding comment to read as that is exactly what I want it to sound like! It is like a direct link between my voice (me) and what I type out. Thank you lots 😊❤💕

  12. You have a very clear, strong and honest voice when you write. It’s one of the reasons why I enjoy reading your blog. When you write, it doesn’t seem forced. It flows and seems as natural as if you were sitting in a room talking to your readers rather than writing to them. It’s real. I love that. <3

  13. The thing is…my early posts were all about that too. SummerSHINES isn’t my first blog. I have become more aware of readers I think as I am generally so much happier…so I have space in my brain to consider stuff like how it’d be good to express an idea in a post. I am a confident writer which I always assume is a bit annoying to people as self depreciating types are more typical I guess?? I appreciate the feedback :)

  14. I’m a brand spanking new blogger who would love to become a writer one day. Problem is, my blog is all about my therapy sessions or emotions around that so I guess it’s near on impossible to have the reader in mind enough to be a writer (and not a blogger).

    Ps, I didn’t think it came across arrogant at all, very well balanced out I thought! 😄

CHAT TO ME (I am actually human)

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