TOTES EMOTES

These were given as a Christmas present to my eldest daughter and I’ve only just looked through them.

They are a set of flashcards to make sense of the world of emojis-what they mean, and how they can in some circumstances be wrongly construed (defeating the object of why they’re there in the first place!?)

Emojis are meant to make virtual communication with strangers online (or even friends), easier by making it clearer how we actually feel when we type out a comment or reply….But it doesn’t always work this way, as not everyone interprets emoji useage in the same way. We all have different emoji styles. Just like back at school- even though we all receive the exact same uniform list, we know that not everyone will rock up to the school gates looking exactly the same. Rules are there. But rules are not kept. And not everyone understands the rules in quite the same way.

Emoji use is one factor influencing how we end up perceiving the personality and intentions of the person we’re interacting with-particularly when it is someone we’ve never met before and have only ever interacted with via our keyboards.

We have all heard of the statistic that 97 percent of communication is non-verbal.
These days is 97 percent of our virtual communication emoji based??

Are emojis the new non-verbals?

What about how we pose (or don’t pose) for a selfie? Does that affect how we are perceived by others who have never physically sat in front of us? I think so. People tend to like my selfies. I don’t know why but they do. People will have to tell me what you think about me based on a selfie…when you have never met me.

Any thoughts? Assessments? Snap judgments? What do you infer about my personality based on a selfie? You can be brutally honest here. I’m just curious how much people’s evaluations match up to my self-concept.

The majority of my social contact with humans is with my husband and kids-then online. (Facebook, WordPress etc.) I cannot bring myself to communicate that much on Instagram, and I stopped tweeting on Twatter some time ago. I am totally emoji’d up the eye balls already on my blog and Facebook. Online communication is tiring. We are still socialising. We are still figuring each other out. We are still deconstructing and decoding social rules. We are still considering online etiquette. We are still pondering whether that person is offended by something we said or whether that person is being ‘off’ with us because normally person X signs off a message with three kisses and today it is two, or they didn’t put a smiley on “OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG!!”…Then we have to actually use brain cells and engage our pre-frontal cortex to engage in rational thought processes where we go through in our heads all the potential reasons why this person would reduce the kiss quota or go easy on the smileys.

We actually use our brains to do this paranoid rumination. What a drain on precious resources!

Emojis can reassure, but can also signal danger or social threat when rules or expectations are not adhered to.

If someone sends me a blog comment or comments on my Facebook or writes on messenger etc- sometimes I am genuinely too knackered and overwhelmed to concentrate enough to write back immediately and it might be a couple of days…but I worry that they’ll think I’m blanking them. I am not….I am just tired. Simple as.
Not responding to a message or text these days is the modern day equivalent of blanking someone you know who you meet on the street, or seeing someone on the opposite pavement and not being in a sociable mood so putting your hat down further over your eyes to make yourself as unseen as possible and hoping they won’t see you.

People now know if you’ve read a message they’ve sent you. Thank you technology for this gift of unending stress! Are read receipts really neccesary?! I mean-c’mon technology people! Have you heard of a thing called privacy? No one can ever hide anymore and that is not good for introverts like me.

I like introverting a great deal.

I don’t recoup energy from social chit chat. That kind of thing drains me.
My commenting prompt on my blog says I don’t always write back depending on mood. Some people might think that is rude. But I feel a need to manage people’s expectations of me socially.

I am drained by any type of social stuff. I love solitude and being alone in my own thoughts.

Sometimes I get so frustrated that there are so many online people I really like and admire and respect- yet cannot sit in a writer-friendly coffee shop that sells all things artisan, chatting about intelligent thoughtful stuff over a giant slab of cake. I miss that reality. Emojis-however well executed and appropriately used in typed out messages are not going to make me feel the same as a real person would. Yet online is where the like minded people are. So I can’t drop this virtual life completely. I feel attached to you all. I feel I need and want you in my life.

But all these fucking emojis and analysing every social consequence of every punctuation mark! Fuck me it is tiring and taxing and a pain in the arse!!
Save me from a life of emojis :(

I have friends on the autistic spectrum. How on earth do they cope with emoji selection when writing messages?! This is all totes stressful to me…totes emotes actually 😊😀😂😃😄😇😨😳😲😱😵😣😩😍😋😜😚😎😔😫🙈🙉🙊💪❤💛👊💟💞👐💖💗✌👌👍

In the comments section I am interested to hear your stories on Internet communication-what effect emojis have on how you perceive people’s feelings towards you (are emojis good/bad/useless), and how you think a stranger might perceive you based on a selfie :) X

SummerSHINES ©

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14 thoughts on “TOTES EMOTES

  1. I love this comment! I often substitute words for emojis myself… I hadnt considered it from that angle. Using emojis makes me happy sometimes. Like happy emojis can make me feel more hyper on an otherwise rough day. I emoji match also (room indicate mirroring/rapport) There is lots of blog material here. I might do another one 😊😂 Xx

  2. Emoji’s make me want to scream! It seems to me that it’s about the same as saying “I’m done talking to you now.” Which does a great job of cheering up the introverted, depressed girl who already thinks you hate her anyway. Honestly, I have to admit, I have done the same thing. But not because I hate the person I’m talking too, but because socializing in any way, drains me. I like it and need it, but have to limit myself because I know that if I push too far, it will take too much of me away. I almost exclusively use the <3 and :) emoji's because how can you go wrong with that? And my take on your selfies summerSHINES is that you are beautiful and I don't just mean that in a physical way, but your inner beauty shows, a softness and kindness. So here you go :) <3

  3. Really loved this piece of writing! Emojis can be a minefield can’t they. I’m a fan of them… although I think they can make me lazy , I am guilty of sending the odd thumbs up instead of replying with words!! But only with friends I know will accept that. I try to match my emoji game to the individual and mirror how they use them. Of course my favourite is ‘💛’ . And from your selfies I just see a super pretty lady with eyes that convey the depth that lies within! Xx

  4. I feel hurt sometimes when people are less friendly with the emojis because like you I am very tuned into how other people are feeling….not always in a good way though. I have an insecure mindset and have a heightened fear that I will be rejected and I’ve done something “wrong” myself. It’s a product of our pasts darlin xx but the great thing is we do know that’s what’s happening so we can work on it. 😊💖

  5. Funny, but true stuff right here. I’m one of those people (only with those I’m really close to- like my therapist), who starts to feel panicked if they don’t send a smiley face or something that makes me think everything is okay. If I don’t get that, I’m convinced the person is angry with me. I also make sure I always send an emoji signalling my approval or care in case someone thinks I’m being harsh or rude. It sucks, and SO stupid! I’m working on it, though, lol. Oh, and I don’t post selfies, so can’t answer that one. :P

  6. My emoji decisions are based entirely on how far my finger has to travel. Which is rather confusing coming from depressed person, always positing happy smiling, laughing faces.

CHAT TO ME (I am actually human)

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