I am going to be doing some different things on my blog to switch things up a bit. This blog is an evolving living thing-far more than just the nuts and bolts of WordPress templates, domains, widgets and JPEGS that constitute it.
This blog is an extension of me and my inner world which I choose to share with you. I also like to believe this blog has soul-and the reason it has soul is that there is someone with a strong soul at the blog wheel, driving this operation (in other words ME). No offence to people who have weaker souls hides face…all I’m saying is I know mine is a particularly strong one ;)
Why do any of us blog? It can be for all sorts of reasons, but I guess unless you are an extremely tentative anxious blogger who thinks EEK everytime you hit publish, I think blogs that persist and have longevity probably do so because they have some kind of overriding purpose driving them, plus a person at the helm who is confident about their purpose and who has the skills to execute their purpose. Getting those posts written and published-basically.
I blog with a purpose, but my purpose is evolving over time ,so I wanted to share how things are changing and do a mental exploration of it, writing pretty much as I think.
Puts thinking cap on and adjusts it so it’s a comfortable fit Imagine ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji inserted HERE
Blogging is less about my own therapy these days, although it is still therapeutic in the sense that is makes me feel better and I benefit from writing expressively about life and all it’s randomness.
It is becoming less about me and my painful and difficult feelings (I hope), and more about my purpose and what I hope to achieve to benefit others in life.
I have changed my blog tagline to describe myself as a writer (because I want to publish books and write on a freelance, read PAID basis) doodler (because that’s my fun escape and I think it’s a different way of creatively expressing my ideas) survivor (I survived abuse and rape without ending my life by suicide, and my post-trauma identity is strengthening by the day so a bit tick in the survivor box ) optimist (yep, because my outlook these days is increasingly positive and that is aiding my ongoing healing), and INFLUENCER – that last one is my focus for this post.
It is maybe unusual to describe yourself as ‘an influencer’. Not many people do this explicitly (that I have ever heard of anyway). In job interviews I doubt many people would offer up the adjective ‘influencer’ when they are asked to describe their skills and personal capabilities/U.S.P’s.
It is possible people may think it’s slightly arrogant of me or above my station to describe myself that way. Please for goodness sake don’t call me a narcissist though readers. I lived with a whole bunch of undiagnosed narcissists growing up, and I can assure you I am categorically NOT one of them. Narcissists are toxic. Narcissist are grandiose. Narcissists only intentions are self-aggrandizement and self-interest. They lack empathy. They will use you and exploit you to bolster their self worth. They care about image. They care about status. They care about how they appear, not who they are or who they benefit.
It is true I am beginning to self-promote with greater self-confidence and self-belief. But I don’t believe I am the blogger equivalent of an X factor contestant who can’t sing, stating in deluded fashion with all sincerity that they will be “BIGGER THAN ADELE”.
Nope. I know I have the skills and capabilities to back up my claims. I do what I say on the tin.
This is the tin…
I do want to become someone who is known in the media for writing, radio interviews and TV appearances, but that is not because I like the idea of the whole of England and beyond knowing I was abused as a child and now have two diagnosed psychiatric disorders. If I was going to pick an ideal niche for getting famous, I would not choose this one!…BUT this is my life, so my life dictates my direction. I went through what I went through, and now as an adult I am trying to create meaning from my previous suffering. As in the amazing book ‘Man’s search for meaning,’ written by a psychiatrist (Frankl) who survived the Nazi concentration camps… if you can create meaning and purpose from life shit, life basically ceases to be as shit.
I believe by becoming linked with the media and telling my story and talking about my experiences more and more, that it will be making something good out of something absolutely SHIT. The shit bit being “my life to date”. I don’t want to continue to reside in this bog of shitness. I want to rise on out of it, shower the shit away and live a life with minimal shittability.
‘Shittability’ is a word I just made up and I think it means the degree of potential for shit things to happen in your life and for you to feel shit about those shit things that just happened.
I promise I will not use the word shit anymore in this post. I appear to have hit my shit quota in one measly minute of typing. Oh crap.
Showers the **** off and moves on
I want to generate a media presence beyond my blog, because I know I have the capacity to potentially help and support a lot of people. That inner confidence is based on repeated positive feedback I’ve had from my network of shiny friends, chums and associates (chums and associates are terms borrowed from my blog friend Buffy Devane to cover people I know on differing levels)-god love him and his English gentleman charm X
My shine network is quite complex (I think I will draw it…)
Here’s one I drew later…
I am not a blogger who blogs in isolation. I am an extremely socially linked up blogger who truth be told often feels overwhelmed at how much communication I do everyday with so many people. That is all hidden and consuming and tiring for an introvert like me…so my challenge is to spend more of my time working on constructive ‘influencing’ posts on summerSHINES that will be read by more people… so more people can be positively influenced in one go. In order to do this I will have to invest less time on one to one informal chatting, supporting and advice giving. Sorry peeps :(
I am trying to be more time-effective and think of the bigger picture. I want this blog to be a bit less stream of consciousness, and a little more planned and structured and purposeful. My writing style will not change, and I want to continue to write and doodle in a way that expresses my kooky personality, but how I approach blogging will be a bit more purposeful and focussed in terms of topic.
I am going to write a series of advice posts, pulling together lots of times I have advised my friends about things and what questions have been asked of me, and doing some generic advice pieces. I think I’ll call them #SHINEOLOGY, or #summerSAYS ;)
Note-If you are a friend of mine who I’ve interacted with about very personal private sensitive issues please be assured I will not be describing specific things about you and what you’ve said. NO WAY! I totally respect confidentiality and value people’s trust in me, so I will only be writing generalisations, and a lot of the advice posts will contain the kind of general advice I tend to give to people when I’m asked about various dilemmas. It is a challenge for me to combine what I’ve learned from my interactions with several people to form a general picture and overview which I believe I can share and will be helpful to people who are struggling to make sense of, or make decisions on a particular issue. But nothing is individual, or identifiable.
Aside from tweaking how I post on here (not twerking-that’d just be weird), I am considering doing one-to-one mentoring/coaching/supporting, but on a small fee basis, charging for an hour of time on Skype or messenger. hides face
Imagine summer renacting this emoji.
Is asking for payment for my time cute? Maybe I can make it cute 😊😂
This is because I do need to earn money to contribute to the paying of the bills, and at the moment I invest A LOT of time into A LOT of people, while still remaining essentially unemployed, which is just not sustainable for me on an ongoing basis with a family to support. I am only toying with the idea, and quite whether anyone would want to pay for what I offer remains to be seen, it’s a bit of a leap into the unknown…but I am having to have a drastic re-think on how I do things and what is the most effective use of my time, considering my goal is to benefit as many people as possible and keep my eye on my longer-term goals.
If anyone has any thoughts, feedback or suggestions on anything I’ve said please let me know in the comments.
Hopefully, my new stall is set out now, and that you will embrace and understand the rationale behind the changes I wish to make.
Thank you to everyone who helps me to shine bright every day. Summer wouldn’t shine half as bright without you. I genuinely mean that X
PS. The digital version of my magazine article was published yesterday! Woop woop :) claps and cheers Here is a link HERE [Hopefully it’ll work…I am on p40 onwards, titled SUMMER STARTS TO SHINE! Cracking title don’t ya think ;)] Here are a couple of photos of it…(not that I expect you to be able to read the writing, but it gives you a flavour of how it looks in the magazine. I’m really proud…though too scared to read it myself as too self-critical EEK! :)
PPS. I got the letter from my psych-(Dr Cautious) today and it is one of the most positive EVER yaay! Here are bits of it…my fave bits :) ps. Imani Summer is totes my real name 💛💛
I am so excited my Mental State Examination was psychiatrically judged as EXCITABLE EUTHYMIC yaaay! (Euthymic mood is neither elevated nor depressed…I have only achieved the mental health accolade of euthymic on one other occasion in four years! I think it was in October 2014!!!
Dr Cautious SAW MY SHINE !!!
(I wonder how my sharpie drawing went down with her) lol ;)
Anyway I’ll stop wittering now.
Keep shining people! Xxx