I’m a cerebral person who very much lives in my head, rather than on terra firma. Of all the characteristics of my very
weird quirky personality, one word I simply cannot apply is the adjective “grounded”. I am absolutely as ungrounded as you can possibly get, but I’m working on it, I promise.
I am a head person- some might say a good old fashioned day-dreamer. I’m a gemini- an air sign. I’m an intellectual type; a philosophiser, a passionate ranter and analyser, a deep thinker, a planner, a busy bee with a busy mind that never stops. I am not especially practical or adept with my hands. I am far better when I exercise my brain rather than my body (although I do like to run, and can just about manage to do that in straight lines without falling over). But generally I feel like I very much spend my life suspended a few feet off the ground in a parallel universe that is very unlike most humans, which is why I label them “humans” or sometimes “humanoids”, as though I am a scientist studying them from great distance.
I guess technically you can call me human, but not an average, typical, or usual one. Yeah yeah before you shout at me I know there is no such thing as a typical, average or “normal” human, we are all unique etc. Just some of us are more unique than others, and that my friend is FACT.
I don’t get you and you don’t get me, and that’s ok.
I’m still part of the human race, just not in a typical way. I guess you could say, I’m here, but not fully here. I live out my existence in a trauma-generated dissociated bubble-wrapped bubble much of the time, mentally avoiding the bad stuff by staying in my head. I can’t help it- it’s who I am and how I’ve learned to cope with this brutally beautiful thing called ‘living’.
I am not rooted to anything. I change like a chameleon in mood, personality and identity almost all the time, so it’s hard to decipher the real me I guess, and it is fair to say there are many ‘summers’ [as well as autumns, springs and winters.]
But despite this, I don’t feel lost at sea. I actually feel at very at home at sea.
I have made the sea my literal and figurative home. I moved to the coastal place I live now five years ago, and I can’t tell you how glad I am that I did. It is PARADISE here, no exaggeration. Absolute paradise.
There is nothing about the area I don’t like, [except for it’s worrying shortage of TKmaxx stores but I am lobbying for that change, I assure you] ;)
I may not be grounded, but I am fully at home, at sea; by the sea, beside the seaside, beside the sea.
I am espesh. excited today about where I live, as I will be showing one of my best friends where I live for the very first time. Although she is one of my closest and most valued friends, I have only known her less than two years. It was totally love at first sight (online, in a completely non-lesbo way blushes) and I want her to love where I call home as much as I do.
Maybe grounding is not possible for me. Maybe I will continue to live with my head in the clouds always, but you know what?…that’s okay. It is really okay, because these are Northumbrian clouds, and Northumbrian clouds are the unequivocal unrivalled best.
Everything here is BEAUTIFUL, NATURAL, RUGGED, UNSPOILT, STUNNING, WILD, just plain GORGE.
The sea water is clear as the finest iridescent crystal, and the hue of the water changes not only daily but constantly, from the greyest of slate to the royalist of blue to the pakest shade of turquoise to the ‘sky meets the sea undiscernible horizon’ type blue. The sparkles glisten on the surface of the water as the sun’s rays illuminate the vast watery salty expanses. Visually, the sea resembles a watery meadow saturated by a vast sprinkling of scattered diamonds. It puts on it’s spectacle for me and the other lucky buggers who live or visit here every day of my existence. What price can you put on that?
It is all free of charge, if only you can work out the small details like finding work and a home (which is exactly what we did after a glorious holiday here where we discovered Northumberland’s beauty for the very first time).
We made this beautiful dream become our daily reality, and we appreciate what we did every single day since we moved here.
Even on my lowest suicidal days, I contemplate how hard it would be to wrench myself away from Northumberland. It is the place my soul feels safe. It is the place where I have friends and my children have friends and go to school and will grow up and evolve into beautiful adult humans. It’s also the place where much significant life content has already played out and happened.
Every morning, whatever the weather, I am on that castle decorated beach with my dog, running in the widest of sweeping circles scampering across the sand and the rocks and splashing in the water with excitement. The dog does that too :D
I love my home in all weathers, in all seasons, at all times of day, every day, every hour. I did not know it was possible to LOVE a place so much, but I genuinely honestly DO.
This is true love. I am attached to this place. It’s my soul home.
I will be so proud to take my beautiful, precious (and fellow bonkers creature) and show her the sights. I will be breathing the same fresh air as her, instead of the smog of London which she is accustomed to. She can see it through through her own eyes and I can proudly show her the gem which I made home.
My home is here. My love for my home environment is everlasting and well worth staying alive for. I will get to share it today and tomorrow with her while she visits. What could be nicer than that.