This is a post about my diagnosed personality disorder and me. Often people are criticised for their own self-diagnosis of supposed mental health conditions. Society argues that people will sometimes say they have self-diagnosed depression (to excuse them from being a miserable cow), or anxiety (when they want to avoid doing something), like when people … Continue reading PD? NO, JUST ME
Finally, I can breathe. The house sighs with relief, just as I do. There is quiet. There is calm. There is me, just me, and the keys. There are notebooks and neat piles of paper in organised rows that prove my recent productiveness. Finally I can come up for air, and tell you what life … Continue reading HUMAN AFTERALL
A sharpie scribble done at the breakfast table this morning.... summerSHINES©
Do you know.....there isn't currently any part of my body that doesn't hurt. Do you know.....I struggle to think of myself as anything other than completely broken. Do you know.....my emotional state is as precarious as the black ice on the school run this morning. Do you know.....that sometimes social media makes me hurt, and … Continue reading DO YOU KNOW…[CONFESSIONS]
There is too much happening. A whole WEEK of emotion left unwritten and unprocessed. Screaming into a pillow later may well be on the cards. My phone notifications keep firing off their distracting chimes which grate my nerves like daggers. Silence please...and solitude. Is that too much for ask for? Mute. That's better. Eldest has … Continue reading MY MILKY WAY & ME
This is a post, written stream-of-consciousness, about a dark topic. My intention is not to provoke or upset anyone…..merely to give an honest and unfiltered insight into the mind of someone like me. By someone like me, I mean, someone who battles chronically (in the longer-term) against familiar impulses to end my life. Suicide must … Continue reading ALL STUPID LIES *tw
I always write stream of consciousness style, I write as I think; but tonight's post will be even more streamy and consciousy as I don't have the intellectual capacity to mentally plan anything. As for what is the point of this post, who knows?!...I don't, but there doesn't always have to be a point I … Continue reading SPLURGING
Words found, can be immensely powerful. There has been too much [mental] illness snaking a path of destruction through my life of late. But I am learning how to speak again, and more importantly, to write. Writing is where I get my power from. It's where I tap into the essence of me and share … Continue reading THE WORD FINDER- for MH bloggers.
Inevitably, every time a kid's school holiday toots it's noisy red letter arrival on the calendar, I will write a post such as this....a post about the sheer sensory HELL of school holidays, and the disruption of routine created by the interruption of usual functioning and the addition of extra activity/extra stimulation and extra mental/emotional … Continue reading SHRINKWRAPPED TILL SCHOOL
I haven't blogged for a while and I'm too tired to count the number of days this blog absence has lasted, because that involves brain power, and I have n.o.n.e. I am not ok. I am vulnerable. I am at emotional exhaustion point. Burnout? Yup. In need of some serious time out. Life is very … Continue reading JUST NOT YET
Hello peeps of the world. Today is October 10th- WORLD mental health day. The world is a BIG place with many humans in it, and many of those humans (probably far more I'd suspect than the usually cited 1 in 4) will have lived experience of mental ill health, ergo, they have experience, because they … Continue reading MENTAL HEALTH (OF THE ENTIRE WORLD etc)
I got spooked. I made my blog private. Two days of wanting to be unseen and unexposed. It isn't often I get nervous about blogging. But honest blogging about my subjective experience of mental illness is like the discomfort of therapy, amplified. In the therapy room chair I want to literally melt into the furniture. … Continue reading SPOOKED
Confessions of a stardusted woman...... This came up on my Facebook feed today...... I read it, and I thought....is this true? I think stardusted women, however irrepressible, can sometimes be stopped....we are all after all imperfect human beings capable of crumpling and falling to the floor in defeat, (sometimes many times), but a star dusted … Continue reading STARDUSTED CONFESSION
Well, I did do a little sharpie scribble to mark today, but words are necessary too. I have messages to communicate across the interweb that require words. That's because they're important ideas. Visualise bubble writing saying "THIS IS IMPORTANT". Right, let's begin. Yesterday was day 1 of this.... Note**I scratched out mental-ness this morning and … Continue reading #2 OF 20. CRISIS.
Who knows what invalidation means? This isn't a SAT test. I am just not sure how aware people are of the term invalidation and what implication it has in relationships and potential conflict scenarios. The dictionary definition of invalidation is this- to nullify, negate, annul, abrogate- to invalidate means to deprive of effective or continued existence. … Continue reading SOUL BE YOUR PILOT