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SUMMER STARTS TO SHINE

WRITER. DOODLER. TRAUMA SURVIVOR. INFLUENCER. WAVE-MAKER.

Category

borderline personality disorder

RIGHT TO REPLY

I decided to write this post for a number of reasons. This past week has been horrendously difficult, upsetting, psychologically threatening and downright overwhelmingly frightening and unsafe in places. This post is my attempt to sum it all up. It's a really... Continue Reading →

WELLNESS BECOMES ILLNESS *TW

*Trigger warning- Post contains suicidal themes. I got sidetracked from my original plan of taking the summer off blogging. The lure of blogging called me back. But sometimes you just have to accept you've gone off track in quite a big... Continue Reading →

SMILEY SADNESS

The truest sentence that I know, is that a smile can conceal great sadness. Speaking from my own experience, I don't only cry when I'm sad and only smile when I'm happy. It just isn't that simple. I have perfected the art... Continue Reading →

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**TW. LUCKY

Here is an extract from an email I just wrote to my psychologist. I often email her for therapeutic purposes. Whilst it's against her therapeutic boundaries to reply, she's happy for me to continue to write as she knows writing helps... Continue Reading →

WHAT IS MAD & AM I IT?

Am I mad? And what is madness anyway? How do you define yourself? Do you fit into the category of 'mad'? What does madness mean to you? Does that determine whether or not you are mad? 'Mad' is a word that is has... Continue Reading →

SHADES OF ILL

I woke this morning heavy hearted, and I've already idled away some unknown mindless length of time pondering why it is I feel so crap today. I think I've finally now worked it out. I'm not sure if I'm ill... Continue Reading →

REAL LIFE?

Has anyone seen real life? I think I must have mislaid it down the back of the sofa or something, because I can't for the life of me locate real life. Real life has become unreal chaos. I am busy. Not... Continue Reading →

IS A CAREER POSSIBLE IF I BLOG?

I have put off writing this blog post. It isn't really like me to procrastinate over anything actually so it is always strange when this type of situation arises. If I avoid writing about something it can be for a... Continue Reading →

BPD: ESCAPE TO THE RAINBOW

The grounding process begins. I'm digging deep and securing my emotional roots again. Today has been blissfully easy and private. I have happily hidden, barring a few conversations with selected people of lushness. I needed that after two very special but also... Continue Reading →

UNICORN sparkle *

I'm high. I'm low. I'm fast. I'm slow. I soar, then I'm grounded and stuck fast. Free as a bird, until the cage door clinks shut. Sociable butterfly meets reclusive hermit. Introvert who can extrovert like the best of them on red... Continue Reading →

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COMFORT WHEN DISTURBED

One of the biggest insults that can be colloquially hurled at someone in conversation; sometimes as a unfunny joke, and sometimes with rancid bitterness is, "you're psychologically disturbed!"- usually meaning broadly that you are 'crazy', 'off your rocker', 'unbalanced', 'abnormal', 'socially bonkers',... Continue Reading →

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WATER ON CHALK

Gymnasts can't do those amazing things they do on the bars without chalk on their hands. Their hands will slip. They will lose their grip. They may even fall to the ground and do themselves an injury. Gymnasts are not... Continue Reading →

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MEANDER TO NARNIA 

A brief meander through my thoughts....... Heavy fur coats in a wooden wardrobe part left, right and above, and I'm met with the chilly air of Narnia inhaled up my shocked nostrils. I need mind clearing via writing. The run today... Continue Reading →

CRISIS THOUGHTS

SummerSHINES

HARM MYSELF. STAY ALIVE.

**TRIGGER WARNING-SUICIDAL THEMES   Life is considerably better when you're not obsessed with desires to stop being alive anymore. That is the change yesterday brought about. For the first time in 7 days I didn't have an intense desire to... Continue Reading →

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