Just some stream of consciousness doodles after an absolutely S**T day.... summerSHINES
What if it's forever? What if my prediction is clever? What if healing is mainly never? Never f*****g ever Once upon a time Girl dreamed that she'd be fine Is our best healer really 'time'? Weary from this slow and painful climb Start another verse Body lays cold in hearse Blood once warm now cold … Continue reading POEM- CORKSCREW *tw
A typical bath time in the maison de summerSHINES 😱 When you have PTSD, threat is sensed in the most innocuous of places....even the crisis team staple coping strategy; the bath! 😛 summerSHINES
Chest ache, can't fake; stuck here, damn straight Fall down, then clamber up; contents splash out from my heart's overflowing cup Drama karma; bleeds into heart-clutching rapid sinking Buddhist dharma Remember that day when tears streamed out? when my survival was still so much in doubt Haven't moved on, realise that now; in my dreams … Continue reading POEM: DRAMA KARMA
Trigger warning ** some content may upset, especially if you are an animal lover. Tonight I'm frayed. I'm not af-raid....or maybe I am, in a quiet way, underneath. In fact, I know I am afraid. Because life is scary, right? Life can change quickly. Highs can quickly become lows [in my world anyway], and we … Continue reading FRAYED
*TW- brief mention of mental health crisis and self-injury. I'm staring, eyes half focused at a notebook crammed of inspirational quotes. (A lush find from one of my top stationary shops, Paperchase). 'Never stop dreaming' is the title. The key design feature on the cover is the depiction of a neon flamingo. Any regular … Continue reading FLAMINGO IN NEON *tw
Mental health crisis happens. As a mental health blogger I choose (well, kinda feel obligated) to be honest about it. This kind of stuff happens to lots of people around the world everyday. Here's what happened to me....with the message that mental health crisis happens. It's incidence is more than is known, because people are … Continue reading IN CRISIS… AS IT HAPPENS
I'm bored of myself. Bored of my [empty] self. Bored of what I write. I am really sorry my blog posts lately have been so uninspiring in tone. I feel actively and most passionately mundane, supressed, deflated, dull, pedestrian and un-shining. The last time I was inspired was yesterday, which seems both not long ago … Continue reading MY [EMPTY] SELF
Confessions of a stardusted woman...... This came up on my Facebook feed today...... I read it, and I thought....is this true? I think stardusted women, however irrepressible, can sometimes be stopped....we are all after all imperfect human beings capable of crumpling and falling to the floor in defeat, (sometimes many times), but a star dusted … Continue reading STARDUSTED CONFESSION
Well, I did do a little sharpie scribble to mark today, but words are necessary too. I have messages to communicate across the interweb that require words. That's because they're important ideas. Visualise bubble writing saying "THIS IS IMPORTANT". Right, let's begin. Yesterday was day 1 of this.... Note**I scratched out mental-ness this morning and … Continue reading #2 OF 20. CRISIS.
I wish you could be exactly the person I wanted. I wish you could be here right now. I wish you could comb your fingers gently through my hair, and tease out the tangled mess in my brain and heart too whilst you're at it. I wish you could be here beside me, but not … Continue reading I WISH YOU COULD…
I couldn't write my feelings, so I scribbled them out in sharpie instead... 😔 Post-publishing note* I was not intending to break my blog holiday rule, but these sharpies had to be published for my sanity! I'm going to London next month again too faints!!! SummerSHINES©
Am I mad? And what is madness anyway? How do you define yourself? Do you fit into the category of 'mad'? What does madness mean to you? Does that determine whether or not you are mad? 'Mad' is a word that is has strong connotations and will be interpreted in differing ways dependent on who you are, how … Continue reading WHAT IS MAD & AM I IT?
If you have a PTSD diagnosis as I have- one thing you'll be intimately familiar with is the whole concept of triggers. Triggers are what turn you in an instant from 'ok', to PTSD'ed up to the max. PTSD is not a constant illness. I have phases of normality and phases of PTSD flare ups. … Continue reading TRIGGER (UN)-HAPPY
Has anyone seen real life? I think I must have mislaid it down the back of the sofa or something, because I can't for the life of me locate real life. Real life has become unreal chaos. I am busy. Not at all centred. Floaty. Overwhelmed. Confused. I haven't been normal since Wednesday, or maybe, if … Continue reading REAL LIFE?