Search

SUMMER STARTS TO SHINE

PERFECTING THE ART OF CHANGING MY POST- TRAUMATIC SHIT INTO SPARKLE & SUNSHINE

SHAME ON YOU

I survey the mess and wonder who it is who is to blame, Deceit speaks so loud that truth just sounds so lame, Crisis and drama; moth attracted by the flame, Emotions so strong there's no restraint or choice to... Continue Reading →

WHAT TO THINK?

For once, I don't know what to think. Life now is fluid and ever changing. I agreed to a conciliatory meeting with the psychiatrist, but after spelling out my exact expectations and boundaries, she responded saying she doesn't think a... Continue Reading →

MENTAL HEALTH AWARE

I am aware of mental health. There is no more aware of it I personally need to get myself. I blog about it daily! However I volunteer for my local mental health charity to raise awareness and destigmatise mental health disorders for... Continue Reading →

CRISIS DOODLING

No explanation.. just drew how I feel.... SummerSHINES 

WHAT HONESTLY IS THE POINT?

This is a slightly edited version of the email I sent to my psychologist this morning. Names have been changed to protect anonymity.   I don't know what to do. Do I try and call you? (but you're probably not... Continue Reading →

LOSS(T).

I do know how to spell 'loss', honest. Loss is a description of an abstract state of psychological being. 'Lost', by contrast is the post-mortem adjective; how you describe yourself after the feeling of loss has registered within you and you are wrestling with how the... Continue Reading →

DON’T DENY ME

Don't deny me that positive ending I always wanted. Don't deny me that feeling of fair emotional closure. Don't deny me that feeling of internal satisfaction, that despite our differences I was able to work it through with you and... Continue Reading →

DON’T EVEN TRY

Don't even try to do what you're planning to do. Blocking my complaint with your 'one word against another' self-protective crap!? eyebrow raise I don't think so Doc. I honestly and sincerely thought you were better than that. I really... Continue Reading →

YOU. I. NO ‘WE’.

You. I am allowed to say how I feel tonight. It's my blog. I can say whatever I choose. You. I know I may be a second class citizen in your mind, but I still have the right to assert my... Continue Reading →

SHARPIE Wednesday

I haven't done sharpie Sunday for ages, so this is sharpie Wednesday :P....a quickie doodle before I sleep....  SummerSHINES  Night lovelies X

BULLSHITTERY

I did therapy today. It hurt. I cried. 16 tissues; nope not one for all of my issues. I have more than 16 issues. It was tough. Therapy is brutal, but also brilliant. Honesty. Confrontation, in the heathiest way. Being... Continue Reading →

LOTS OF LEMONS

Life is currently uncomfortable. It always is, to some degree, at least some of the time. Sometimes it is really uncomfortable all of the time, and other times it is mildly uncomfortable, bits of the time. Happiness is nothing else but... Continue Reading →

DONATE FOR MENTAL HEALTH

This is a direct post, appealing for charity donations for the mental health charity I support via my fundraising volunteering. I am a supporter of Tyneside and Northumberland Mind, who are a charity helped me when I was severely unwell last... Continue Reading →

MOMENT TO MOMENT

I haven't been in the usual routine today. Why? It is un-seasonally hot in England today. Ergo my fellow tiny island dwellers, including me, go bonkers. We are not accustomed to such high temperatures, especially in the coastal bit I live... Continue Reading →

SHARPIE RANDOMS

My sharpie doodles are random, spontaneous, and determined by whatever random idea pops into my head. Here they are.... It began with the standard "drawing of a flamingo warm-up", just get my nimble fingers warmed up and my creative brain... Continue Reading →

COFFEE & COMFORTS

This is a 'where I'm at' post. Because I'm not entirely sure quite where I am, so am hoping the writing process will allow me to grasp the nettle and see my way through the fog, and all equivalent metaphorical jazz.... Continue Reading →

THERAPY BONKERS

Today is a part-sharpie/part-prose post. Today is therapy day, which means I [very predictably] have a thumping headache and feel absolutely drained. Today was really hard, really really hard, and really really emotional and really really intense. There are not... Continue Reading →

SHINE AFTER TERROR

I made this. Tell me your honest thoughts in the comments please. I felt compelled to document my thoughts about the Manchester terror attack in video form tonight. With love, summerSHINES https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5typZnT3Bk

HEART OF TERROR

I didn't think I'd be writing this kind of post today. Half asleep and still dozy I was alerted out of my sleepy stupor by a sudden groan of my husband. What. WHAT? I asked urgently. My PTSD brain immediately... Continue Reading →

THAT WOMAN IS ME

Daughter 1 bounces on the trampoline outside. Daughter 2 has her head buried in her latest fairy book upstairs. A man prepares a family meal in the kitchen, and a woman sits alone at her laptop, door closed, wondering what will possibly... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑